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Dear Beloved: Self-Value = Identity Awareness A Love Letter To Explain Why You Must Matter To You!

By Chardonnay Beaver


Dear [insert name],

You, yourself, deserve love as much as everyone else in the existence of humanity. But be aware that love is often misrepresented by symbols that become irrelevant when we yearn for transformative love and self-awareness.


Roses will never equate to the acceptance of self. Luxurious gifts will never be enough to comfort a parent who’s grieving the loss of their child. Chocolate candies and candles, which are my personal favorite, will never be the remedy to propel you into purpose.


Love is a verb rooted in the selfless act of sacrifice and grace. Love is about going outside of your intended path to meet the ends of others. This also looks like loving beyond liking.


For example, Sasha may love her little brother Sam; however, there are many times when she doesn’t like him.

Some of us have progressed in our ability to effectively love individuals, while others may struggle with loving themselves.

Inspired by children, we need to be curious enough to go beneath the surface.

When reflecting on why one wrestles with loving themselves or establishing standards for how they want to be loved, one can often find a link to a misaccounting of self-value.


According to the Oxford English Dictionary, self-value is “confidence in one’s own merit or importance; self-worth.” An inadequate accounting of self-value is a universal issue across all generations.

Thus, we haven’t been seeing ourselves from an unfiltered view. You know? The filter we wear to mask our vulnerabilities. The unsustainable filter we set-up to live a life contrary to who were designed to be and/or eventually become. We lack awareness of our identity as a community and generation.


Thus, we attach our value to our performance, what our peers think of us, how we made it or survived the struggle. However, all of those matters are contributing to our misaccounting of value.


Here’s why you really matter: You were designed for a purpose. Your existence was not a mistake or accident.


Contrary to the messages of mainstream culture, you are as valuable when you aren’t producing as when you are.


For those departing from peer pressure — both the pressure of your immediate friend group and the pressure of social media that makes the need to succeed feel like an urgency, rather than the need to serve — it’s not their job to see your value, it’s your job to start being what you value.


How can you start valuing yourself from where you are? Concern yourself with the daily commitment to be better today than you were yesterday (notice the word “be,” not “do”). Meaning, be more gracious with yourself.


Words of Wisdom by Char of the Week: When we don’t develop a greater understanding of who we are as adults it’s a greater disservice for the youth. Children are observing our practices of self-love, self-value, and self-determination. Learning to start with valuing ourselves will shift the trajectory of generations to come. The path towards self-value is a trail worth blazing. Philippians 1:6.




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